- *Guilt free reading and binge-watching. I’ve already read two books and finished half of HBO’s Westworld. I can indulge and relax without the heavy ghost of homework and due dates peeking over my shoulder.
*Not completely guilt free because I should be spending time searching for a job.
- More free time! There is suddenly so much more free time to catch up with friends and explore the city, to pick up new hobbies and get back into yoga. I have time to ‘get in shape’ and actually cook my meals.
- A new adventure. I’m at the cusp of a big scary decision, but also a lot of freedom and self-empowerment. I’ve accomplished something big, I’ve put in a lot of time to educate myself and I’ve grown a lot in the process. I can travel, move wherever I’d like, do some weird jobs, finally put to work all the skills and stuff I’ve been building. My next projects won’t be motivated by a grade, (hopefully) they’ll be motivated by passion and talent. I’m excited for this new change and new adventure. I mean, I’ve been doing this student thing for 16 years!
- I’m an adult (?). I haven’t figured out why that’s great, but there’s this feeling that’s pretty cool, some kind of credibility. And I’m so much closer to getting a dog of my own! (Also another big factor in making a decision about my future.)
- I can take my phone off silent. While I was in school, I literally ALWAYS had my phone on silent. I actually can’t remember the last time it wasn’t on vibrate. This might just be me, but I didn’t want to have to worry about it going off in class or while I was in the library, on the bus, etc. But I’ve just purchased a sick Rogue One text tone, and a Space Mountain ringtone. So feel free to call me friends.
- There’s a lot of pressure. My big “what’s next” question has to find it’s answer. I always thought I’d be on top of this one, I’m a planner, and I’m ambitious. But it’s a big step and I find myself wanting to explore every option. Friends, family, even future employers, are eager to see how I decide to take this next step into adult life. I want to do something important and impressive and something I’m passionate about. But the world is also screaming at me to find stability and money and something called ‘benefits’.
- I’m on a six month timetable to DO that something. (Likely motivated by the fact that I have to start paying on my student loans in six months.) I’m scared I’ll settle into something that won’t make me happy. I’m scared I’ll miss an opportunity, or get stuck in complacency and comfort.
- I’m not apart of that #studentlife anymore. I can’t imagine not calling myself a student. What does that even make me? WHO AM I? I no longer can complain about all the wonderfully weary things about the college struggle. I can no longer use studying as an excuse to get out of something.
- Money and stuff. On top of everything else, I have to worry seriously about money now. Loans, insurance, bills, etc., is a big factor in my decision making. I have to worry about that ish now. I don’t even really understand the majority of it. I have a bachelor’s degree and I don’t fully understand our country’s financial system. *facepalm*
- I don’t want to regress. I’ve made big accomplishments and steps in college, I had writing published, I won awards, and graduating was the pinnacle. Now I’m considering moving home, now I’m looking for a job, any job that’ll take me. I don’t want to fall into a stalemate during one of the most exciting times of my life.
Basically I feel like a baby bird that the world has shoved out of the tree. I’m scared because I’m totally falling and have no idea what’s happening. But also excited, because I finally get to spread my wings and fly.